I hid my previous post recently because I thought I was finally done with my family drama and I can go back to blogging about normal stuff … in all my free time. That is how much I’d rather not talk about it. I would prefer to hide it and sweep it under the rug. It’s horrible and I don’t enjoy highlighting the crappy parts of my life. This blog is supposed to be for my writing and art.
Unfortunately, I haven’t had time to blog about the things that I really want to write about and Mr. Crazy Stalkerman has contacted me again. That’s right, Richard R. Meza has reached out to me AGAIN. The first message was relatively harmless:
I only saw it because I have to occasionally check my junk box for real messages that have been flagged as SPAM. Not a big deal. It went to my junk folder and I can just continue to ignore it.
Then I received this email this morning:
… “We need you help please.” What is it that I can possibly offer? Do I somehow now have more money than you and you need it? Does she need bone marrow? Am I somehow a match for her blood type? Maybe you molested her and you need me to be a character witness for you. Who knows. You need my help as much as that nice Arabian prince needed help with all that money he didn’t know what to do with. (He too sent a very kind email dripping with grammatical errors.)
Sarcasm aside for everyone else reading, this is what manipulation looks like. It pulls on your heartstrings or gets in your head. If you take the bate, you’re sucked back into the toxic relationships. If you ignore it, you’re guilted by the concern and wondering if you’re a horrible person because this innocent child needs YOUR help.
And that part eats at me, I’ll be honest. So I can come to terms with it in this way: if this child truly needs life-saving assistance, I will help. I have one condition, though. Richard Meza and Kimberly Lowe will need to sign a contract that states they will never contact me again for anything. Ever. And I owe you nothing.
I have no desire to return to mental and emotional abuse. I am making this choice for my health and the health of my family. No one is telling me what to do. No one is pulling my puppet strings. I am an intelligent person perfectly capable of making my own life choices despite Richard Meza and Kimberly Lowe threatening my therapist, claiming I’m under the spell of a cult, and insisting my husband is controlling me. I’m in a good place and I love my husband, my daughter, and my life. I don’t ever want to go through the crazy-making drama of being bullied, guilt-tripped, and mind-fucked.
For survivors like me, you don’t have to put up with it. Get yourself out of those toxic relationships and give yourself permission to love and enjoy the life you’ve been given. Don’t let those toxic people (family or not) control your happiness.
Update: my mom has no idea what he’s talking about, so it’s obviously not life and death.